Restless

I am getting supremely restless waiting for the result of my exams in the same company Angel is currently working on.  I have put much effort on this particular “job seeking,” as they call it, as I ever did in all my other applications.

With each passing day, I am getting more and more frustrated with waiting.  And I can’t be frustrated ‘coz it outbalances everything in my life when I’m like that.

Thoughts…

My mind is running around five things these days. Yeah, I do use it you know (my head).

- I miss him… and that sucks because I will have to wait for 7 days before I get to see him again. School starts on Tuesday.

- Robi of PPBTEP didn’t bag the title… and I was like, dying for him to get it. *sniff*

- I took the exam for iWEB because I want to do something with my life other than sleeping, eating, watching T.V., browsing the internet, chatting, texting, etc. I want to be productive. Plus, I want to get my mind off things. I need a job. Period.

- I don’t know what to do with my application to Canada. Muy wants me to pursue it, the same with Daddy but… I really, really don’t want to.

- Leaving… Staying… I don’t really know what I want. Maybe Muy is right. I should never have gotten myself into a relationship with him. It just makes my leaving painful. The thing is, though, I love him… with all the frigging illusions and fairytale dreams of a ten-year-old.

All things for me these days boils down to one fear: the agony of not knowing.