-Mornings and betrayal

The roads are unbelievably clean this morning. Meaning, traffic was unusually light. I managed to reach the office less than an hour after I left the house. Travel would usually take me 1.5 hours because I have to stop at every intersection. But today, besides the one or two times the traffic light turned red before I made the turn, I evaded the Monday rush.

I was having second thoughts of coming to work this morning. I’m having a really bad tummy ache and I wanted to hang out with Hannah and Natnat while they played Sims 2. But somehow, I heard ForeverGuy’s voice in my head (and mine as well): I need to stop procrastinating on the things I have to do. And I have to value my work and stop being lazy. It’s time I stop being such a whiner and just face my responsibilities.

So here I am, with one story to write and a hundred different thoughts running inside my head.

How did the one person I trusted as much as I trusted Kristia and Bebeth fail me and turn his back on everything we built between us? I have always been comforted by the fact that my friendship with Tei is founded on trust. He has always been stable and constant. Nothing could have gone with my life that I couldn’t tell him. Everything fell apart that one message from ForeverGuy. Betrayal is underrated. Such a naive and unpretentious little word for something so painful it cuts you up inside.

It was easy for me to accept what he did, easy for me to understand after all, betrayal was never new for me. A lot of people in the past with whom I gave my trust betrayed me in ways I did not thought was possible. I wasn’t new to it but the feeling was undeniable, either way.

I just thought our friendship was important enough for him not to stab me at the back like that. Yes, even for love.

But like everyone who had come and go in my life before, he has proven again that trust should not be given that easily.

On brother/sisterhood

Just a piece of my mind. ForeverGuy belongs to a frat. Now, in my more than 23 years of existence, I have met many fratmen and women who belong in an organization that supposedly promotes “brotherhood,” “sisterhood” and all that stuff. But I will never, in a million years, understand the logic of fraternities and sororities. It’s a lame excuse to find friends and eventually, hook up. Many have survived the chasms of Med and Law School (or even college and high school) without joining a “cult-ish” group like frats and sororities.

So here’s one for the road: (just to get it off my mind)…

Fraternities are a sign of weakness–a neediness of some sort which a person cannot curb with his own informidable will. It’s a cathartic call for dependence–one that symbolizes a person’s inability to stand on his own. Whoever needs physical and psychological initiation for brotherhood signifies someone who is incapable of finding and keeping friends without the culture of violence and imposition that fraternities are most commonly known for. It’s a symbol co-dependence within a group of like- and narrow-minded people who finds comfort in inflicting pain, and in the future, demanding what should not be demanded and expecting what it has no right to expect. The rules of true brotherhood (or sisterhood, for that matter), of friendship is non-existence. There is nothing that governs friendship founded on common respect, in the natural way of finding and nurturing that connection. Fraternities make friendships superficial, companionships trivial and relationships unneeded. It destroys the balance of freewill and the true meaning of brotherhood.