Changing routes

How did it happen?

When I was a child, I used to dream of world-altering careers–the things I would do for the sake of humanity, socialism… all those idealistic hullaballo that seems to be attainable when you’re still playing with barbie dolls, polly pockets and coralyn. But as you grew older, slowly you realize not everything is yours for the taking. And the world will not follow your every bid.

I am not in the place where 10 years ago I would have sworn I would be in. Neither am I with the same someone I thought to myself I would be loving until hell freezes over. Life is like that at times. It has a funny way of reminding you what really matters… and what in effect, don’t.

I have always been a lucky kid. I have always gotten what I want. I even have the things I don’t think I need. If I put my mind (and heart) to it, I can still chase after the dreams I have since I was running barefoot on the streets (my Mom throwing a fit after I stepped on a broken glass). But the truth is… I changed. And with it, the same dreams that used to cloud my days and nights back then got a little dimmer until I can no longer see it nor feel it.

What used to be dreams of high-heeled, wood-knocking stilletos and crisp, pinstripe suit of authority changed into low-heeled, girly loafers and maybe a best-mom-in-the-world tee with matching apron. Those days of money-making, tongue-slashing positions of authorityno longer belonged to me. They belong to another girl–one who someday will realize too that life is not all about how much you have in the bank or how many people answers to your every whim.

Life is like this… of peace that comes not from the people around you but from within you, of coming to terms with life and with your renewed dreams. And of finding yourself in the midst of a war… Of trusting your heart (and everything that comes with it) on the hands of the same person who could destroy you.

It will never be easy to take the risk in handing over your childhood dreams for a dream that has yet to come into fusion. It is even harder to accept that you’re no longer the same person you were 10 years ago or heck, even two months ago. But love wakes you to a truth about life: you work, you earn and then… you drive home with the knowledge that once you set your feet inside the threshold of your house, someone’s heart will skip a beat by a mere “I’m home” from you.

I have never taken anything akin to a sacrifice (or a risk) in my life. I have always charted what is safe and what offers security. It was not until I’ve been hit by a force stronger than time and distance itself that I realized I want something else for my life. No, not “something else” but “something more.”

For now, those old dreams will have to wait if someday that barbie-toting child would come to revisit them. But today, I dream of what every woman–deep in their hearts–dreams of… waking up to the first day of a lifetime with, in my case, ForeverGuy by my side.

Career plans

Finally, after months (no, years) of endless uncertainties, I have come up with a career plan… or so at the very least, it is the closest I can get to planning:

• After the May 2010 election, I will resign as a reporter from The Times (why 2010? Because it is history-in-the-making. The first ever nationwide automated election in the country… and besides, I’m pretty possessive with election news. And at least after that stint, I can finally say I tried going into print but just for the moment, it is not the career I can see myself in the future.)
• I will either work for a magazine or in a PR agency (this is my save-money-for-the-future job. A crossroads of some sorts… on what my next step would be.)
• I will take up a formal course in Culinary Arts from either AICS or CACS or MIHRA (hopefully, while doing so I can be a freelancer for a FOOD magazine.)
• After a year of formal schooling, I will work for a hotel where, of course, I shall hone my cooking skills (still writing though… that’s something I can never truly disengage myself from.)
• Then, have a catering business (either solo or with friends. Actually, I want the whole package. Event organizing–from place to food to flowers to invitations, etc.)

So ayun… think I can do it? My plans will range from five to about eight or more years. If by then, nothing comes out of these then maybe… mag-aasawa na lang ako!!! Haha!

But knowing how fickle-minded I can be, this will all probably change in a week. Hehe! For now though I’m totally committed (and my mind is set) to these plans.