...the subtlety of rebellion...

inking on impulse

pingbauzon — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 17:03:27 +0000

http://freeverse20.wordpress.com/

-New home

pingbauzon — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 06:21:38 +0000

I have been thinking of moving out to a new space for a few weeks now. And an argument last night with ForeverGuy made me realize I needed to reinvent myself. Because writing has always been the most constant part of me, I decided to start with changing my space here in the web. I’ve become too dependent on him, even the decisions/plans I make have become subjected to what he might thought of it.

So, the best way for me to start anew is to scrap this old blog and begin somewhere else. I need to be responsible for my own happiness, my own choices. Only then will I be of real use to anyone; only then will my purpose be finally clear to me.

I will be posting the link to my new home sometime in the future. But for now, I really really have to place in order a few things in my life first.

“The essence of philosophy is that a man should so live that his happiness shall depend as little as possible on external things.” – Epictetus

“He who depends on himself will attain the greatest happiness.” – Chinese proverb

…

pingbauzon — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 08:16:50 +0000

Remember I told you before that we would be facing tough times ahead? But that if you can just hold my hand, we’ll get by? I hope that still holds true for you… and I hope than when the time comes you can no longer hold on, you’ll be gracious enough to let me know when I’m supposed to start letting go.

…

pingbauzon — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 18:56:34 +0000

Why is it so easy for you to choose other people over me? I don’t know what to say…

Protected: …

pingbauzon — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 18:20:02 +0000

This post is password protected. You must visit the website and enter the password to continue reading.

Sad. Sad.

pingbauzon — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 12:39:20 +0000

…

pingbauzon — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 11:59:07 +0000

Just something I picked from Aprille’s FB. Her current post:

Life taught me not to depend to those people whom I share the same droplets of my blood, [and] neither to the person who owns half of my heart. Rather, just depend [on] “someone else” who is a stranger but will lay his cards for you.

-An Updated Version Of Me

pingbauzon — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 12:46:39 +0000

Something from KC Concepcion. Heard it in the radio for the first time and fell in love with the song immediately…

-Mario my love :)

pingbauzon — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 08:51:18 +0000

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEBE TAKAW!!!

THANK YOU FOR BEING MY OWN KNIGHT. YOU’LL ALWAYS BE MY BABY!

PLEASE STAY AS SWEET AND AS CUTE AS YOU ARE… I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO MORE YEARS AHEAD FOR US.

WE LOVE YOU LOTS~~~

Believe. believe.. believe…

pingbauzon — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 03:12:21 +0000

How can the one person who almost have everything in his life hate the world as much as he does? If only for the blessings he have been gifted with, he should be thanking heaven and earth for giving him the kind of life he has now. And between the two of us, I have the more right to curse the universe for the life it has provided me with; because amid all the things and people I have now in my life, I pay for it every single night with the fact that I truly don’t have anyone with me.

The one person who understands me—in and out–, the one person who actually gives a damn if I eat or not, if I sleep late or night, if I’m tired, etc… the one person who loves me unconditionally can’t be with me at the times I need her the most. If only my father is a better man than he is then maybe Muy doesn’t have to work a thousand miles away from me. So maybe at those times I needed to be her little girl again, I can be. And those moments I wanted to hide, I can. Maybe those times that I needed to be strong but I can’t, she could have saved me.

There’s nothing more hateful in this world than living apart from the very person who carried you in her womb. And if only for the fact that ForeverGuy can go home when he wants to and find his family intact, he should be looking at the world with a lot less cynical eyes than he does now.

I’ve not been gifted with what he has, and a lot of people would have given a hand (and foot) to live the kind of life he has. It’s sad that he doesn’t really see how unhateful his situation is.

People have to believe in the inherent good of others otherwise, we would be living in a very cynical world; one where we would have to spend the next fifty more years or so. The goodness (at least the belief in its presence) has to start somewhere. Plenty of people more has the right to hate the world, but I’ve heard stories where a beggar sees it more beautiful than we do.

True, we can’t change the world. One good person can’t make a difference to the 8 billion people living right now. But a random act of kindness can make a difference to the life of one person… that’s one less nonbeliever in this world. Those who has something he can pass on must do so. There are only a few good things we can impart in this lifetime: material things are irrelevant. Love, care and the belief in people can save one life at a time.

So for my love: there will always be persons luckier than you are, and there will always be those who would look at you with envy in their eyes. You should not mind both kinds. Think of the person who has nothing but will give everything for a smile on a stranger’s lips. Think of a baby sleeping in his cradle, at peace with the world. If He can create such beauty then He can also save you.